Permission to Go Slow: Honoring Your Unique Healing Timeline
Our world is fast-paced; no matter where you turn, convenience reigns. We forgo lines for instant delivery and pay more for streaming services to avoid those pesky ads. While innovation can make life more convenient, there are some processes that just can’t be rushed. Therapy is one of those processes that take time and patience. Maybe you’re reading this and you’ve recently begun your healing journey or perhaps you’ve been on this journey, wondering when you will reach your goals. The fact of the matter is, there is no healing timeline-there is no blueprint or formula to speed up the healing process. The most essential component is time.
Healing is Not a Race
You’ve likely heard that healing is a process; circling around the idea that healing is complex and takes time. Although you may accept the idea of a process, there still may be a part that questions progress and when you may reach healing you’re working towards. Oftentimes, when we question our healing timelines, it is a sign that there are some unconscious (or conscious) expectations for healing.
Before criticizing your current place on the healing timeline, ask yourself the following reflection questions:
- What was I hoping to have accomplished by this point in therapy?
- Who or what is informing these expectations for progress?
- What progress have I made, thus far? If the progress doesn’t feel significant, further reflect on why that may be.
Another question to ask: is the progress I was hoping to make (by this point), a realistic expectation of myself and this process? Upon further reflection, you may realize that you’re attempting to rush your healing process. If you’ve found you’re rushing, that’s okay! Hurriedness seems to be a byproduct of our society and constant push for progress. Feeling a sense of urgency on the healing journey is also helpful to address with your therapist. Your therapist will work with you to process these expectations for healing and what your unique healing timeline looks like. Give yourself permission to take your foot of the gas!
When you think about the process of healing, envision it like an orchid. Orchids are available in most home & garden centers and even some grocery stores. We have the convenience of purchasing these beautiful plants once they’ve reached their point of arrival. But imagine seeing growth from the perspective of the person who grew the orchid. They took time to plant the seed, nourish it and have patience before the first flower blossomed. To place things in perspective, sometimes, it takes orchids months for the roots to simply form. There are many factors that impact the orchid's growth and the rate at which it grows. The therapeutic healing process can be compared to the growth of an orchid; healing simply takes time.
Going Slow is Key
You may have already seen progress in your healing journey, but are feeling disgruntled; feeling like you’ve plateaued. Comparing one insight/realization to another; waiting for another “eurika” type moment. Sometimes, the healing is found in everyday choices. Mindfulness is a helpful way to ground and reset expectations for healing. Instead of looking for that “a-ha” moment after every session, take a second to acknowledge your progress, thus far. Comparison (even within ourselves) can be a deterrent to progress.
Honoring Growth in its Various Forms
Honor your growth and progress. Timelines are not composed of one point, but several smaller points that come together to create the timeline. Over the course of time, some points (or areas of progress) may seem larger. Conversely, some points seem smaller, yet are still important points to honor and acknowledge. When you continue to reflect on your healing journey, practice using a non-judgemental voice. No two points on the timeline are the same. It is essential to recognize the importance of each point on the timeline, no matter how small. Take a moment to reflect on the current point on your healing timeline–what are you learning about yourself at this point?
Your healing timeline is uniquely personal to you; each step representing a point of growth, working towards healing. Continue to reflect on what this point in your timeline is teaching you about yourself. A therapist is trained to help you articulate your goals for treatment and find out what “healing on your own terms’ means and looks like for you. If you’re ready to start your healing journey, reach out to schedule!
Comments are closed