Why Would You Even Want to Eat an Elephant?

Why Would You Even Want to Eat an Elephant?

“How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. The timeless adage tells us how to tackle our problems by helping us to remember that breaking them down into smaller more manageable pieces can help even the biggest challenges seem less daunting. There is no shortage of techniques to help us do just this. Life has a way of hitting us with come pretty major challenges and during these times, we need techniques. I have a question for you, however. Why would you even want to eat an elephant? Why not address your needs while they are smaller and easier to digest?

Sometimes the elephant charges out of nowhere. We don’t see it coming and we are in the middle of a stampede before we even know what is going on. Other times, when we look back, we realize we can see the elephant coming and couldn’t or didn’t intervene. While your therapist is equipped to handle the elephants, the majority of therapists will suggest it is easier to make changes while the problem is smaller.

Your Body Knows

It’s not that big of a deal.
Other people have it worse than I do.
I should be able to just handle this on my own.
Wasn’t there something I was supposed to do? I can’t keep a thought in my head.
Why am I always stressed?
Why can’t I just fall and stay asleep?
Ugh, great, I yelled again, now I have to apologize.

Sound familiar? These and many other phrases are common for us and signs that a problem is escalating. You know the feeling I’m talking about. The feeling that something just isn’t right. Our muscles feel tight, we grind our teeth. Stomachs may be nauseous, heads may hurt, thoughts race, and the tears are on the verge of dropping. We may become irritable, be unable to sleep well, and find ourselves feeling distanced from the important people, places, and things in our lives. Our bodies send us signs that something is not as it should be and often our bodies are the first to let us know. Think about what your personal signs are. How do you know when you are starting to escalate? You don’t have to wait until the elephant is running at you, you deserve better!

What You Can Do

One of the best things you can do for yourself is learn to listen. Learn the early warning signs of escalation. Don’t wait until you are at 70% to intervene and use your skills. Figure out what you look like at 40% (or even a 30%) and then start to make changes. It's actually a difficult thing to consider. Typically when I ask clients this question, they tell me that their early warning signs are things like arguing, feeling high blood pressure, and clenching their jaw. These are actually indicators that we are already at a point of high tension and it would be more beneficial to intervene earlier.
Write out a list of your mental and physical signs at each stage and get very familiar with them. The earlier you can intervene, the easier it will be to use your skills and come back down to your baseline. If you are having trouble identifying some of these signs, ask someone you trust. Let others who know you well, what your signs are, you may be surprised how much insight other people are able to provide for you.

The primary thing that you can do is keep the problem from turning into an elephant. Many clients come to therapy as a “last resort” or come in saying they have known for “years” that they needed to make changes. Your therapist is ready to meet you where you are and we are trained to manage elephants but we want you to know that you don’t have to wait until the elephant is sitting on your chest. There is no such thing as a problem too small to bring to therapy.

If it is a concern for you, it is a concern for us and we are ready when you are.