One in Five

One in Five

Approximately 1 in 5 Americans will experience mental health symptoms that change their lives. With numbers like these, it means that either we ourselves or someone we know will need support. Now picture this: you are sitting on your couch or at your kitchen table, and someone you love is telling you they need help. How will you respond? Will you know what to do? Will you know what not to do? Lives change when someone asks for help. Not only the life of the person asking, but the lives of those around them.

Look for and Know the Signs

You may already know that your loved one is showing signs of mental health needs before they come to you. Often, when I speak with family. I hear, “I knew that something wasn’t right.” Trust your instincts if you feel something is different or “off” about how the person speaks or acts.

Though each person is different, some commonalities may signify that a person needs support:

• Changes in mood
• Sleeping too much or too little
• Appetite changes
• Uncontrolled worry
• Isolation
• Tearfulness or crying
• Irritability
• No longer engaging in preferred activities
• Substance use
• Feeling hopeless and/or helpless about their lives
• Thoughts/actions related to suicide or self-harm.
• Ask

One of the kindest things you can do for someone is ask them if they are okay. First, let me dispel a common myth that I have heard over and over again. You will not push someone towards a mental health crisis or put ideas into their head if you ask if they are experiencing symptoms. Though this can be one of the hardest questions to ask someone, it has been my experience that the person experiencing these thoughts often feels relief that someone has asked them and that they do not have to “be the one to bring it up”. Ask the question and listen to the answer. Direct communication is key when asking if someone needs help and it does not have to be hard.

Here are some points to keep in mind.

• Use specific examples- “I’ve been noticing (behavior) lately. I’m worried about you”.
• Use open-ended questions (not yes or no questions)- “How have you been feeling about ______.”
• Use “I” statements- “I feel like something is bothering you, is there anything you would like to talk about?”
• Empathize- “I have not had to deal with ___ but I know what it can feel like to be (feeling word). I’m sorry you are going through this”.
• Encourage- “This may be hard to talk about, but I am here to listen”.
• Ask if the person wants solutions or to vent- “Can I help with problem-solving or do you just need me to listen?”
• Validate their experience even if you don’t understand it.- “I believe you”
• Offer support in connecting them to resources- “Let’s figure out what help there is together”.

Breathe

It can be a daunting experience when you ask someone if they need help and they say yes, even if you think that you are ready for the answer. You are not alone in this. Over the years, I have spoken with so many individuals who tell me that hearing someone they loved was in need of mental health support was a completely new experience for them, and they didn’t know what to do. They often say they panicked, didn’t say the right things, or didn’t know what resources were available. In short, they often say they felt lost. Trained therapists have specialized knowledge and skills to be able to support a wide range of needs and are ready to help. Contact us at Counsel RVA today.