Anxiety: An Exhausted Protector

Anxiety: An Exhausted Protector

What if anxiety isn’t the problem, but a protector? For many, anxiety can be a debilitating experience that feels inescapable. As panic, uncertainty, and overwhelm flood the body, an individual may feel paralyzed in their bodies, replaying “what ifs,” and unable to move forward. At the same time, anxiety is also a common human experience that shows up in a variety of situations: a first date, an upcoming test, or something that may seem small to others yet feels deeply overwhelming, such as going to the mall or talking to someone new. A natural response is to want to stifle, suppress, control, or even ignore the anxiety altogether in hopes that it will disappear. Often, however, these efforts only intensify the experience, leaving one feeling increasingly controlled by the anxiety itself. Rather than viewing anxiety as something to fix or eliminate, an alternative perspective is to understand it as a part of oneself that is attempting to protect from perceived threats or harm.

The Basis of Internal Family Systems Theory

Internal Family Systems Theory (commonly referred to as IFS) is a theoretical framework that conceptualizes human emotions as micro-personalities, or parts, that each person has. IFS involves identifying parts that are involved in maintaining unhelpful patterns, including anxiety. This is why it’s called internal family systems. Each part works within the internal system to function effectively. Parts are considered an individual’s feelings, thoughts, bodily sensations, and life experiences that take on roles to protect the individual and keep the system functioning. An example to help with this idea is the movie Inside Out. The main character, Riley, has different parts/emotions that work together in a system to protect her from failing. At times, a part or two may attempt to overcompensate by creating excessive anxiety or deep depression to attain a perceived level of safety. This is where compassion, understanding, and curiosity invites individuals to care for different parts of themselves to gain emotional healing. Understanding anxiety as a protective part naturally shifts how we respond to it.

Anxiety and Self-Compassion

From the IFS perspective, anxiety is not viewed as a problem or emotion to be repressed and ignored. Anxiety is a part that is seeking to feel safe. At times, this part attempts to prevent failure by over-controlling what can’t be controlled. Perhaps anxiety shows up to cause feelings of insecurity or behaviors of avoidance, such as avoiding a work project or a specific person, to avoid feelings of vulnerability. Maybe anxiety learned to act in these certain ways at an early age, and has refused to rest because of fear of that experience occurring again. Rather than responding to anxiety with frustration, shame, or self-criticism, meeting anxiety where it’s at with self-compassion can create a positive shift that ultimately reduces anxiety.

To practice self-compassion, IFS encourages turning towards the emotion with curiosity and care. Saying something like, “Hey anxiety, what are you worried about right now? What are you trying to protect me from,” and “Thank you anxiety, but I’ve got this,” are methods of befriending and establishing a relationship with anxiety. It may feel odd at first, but with practice, the shift from self-criticism to self-compassion will become more effective and natural to engage in.

A New Perspective

So, now that we have discussed an alternative perspective of anxiety, I ask the question again: What if anxiety isn’t the problem, but a protector? Perhaps relief does not come from getting rid of anxiety, but letting it finally rest, knowing it no longer has to protect alone.