I was making toast one morning when the smoke alarm went off—not because there was a fire, but because I burned it. Honestly, my cooking skills are so questionable that my oven flinches every time I walk into the kitchen. Anyway, I suddenly found myself in full crisis mode: heart pounding, arms flailing like I could somehow wave the sound away and running around the house convinced my neighbors were calling the fire department. It was a two-second scare over slightly charred bread, but my brain had already decided this was a five-alarm emergency. That, my friend, is the strange superpower of anxiety: it can take a crumb and convince you it’s an avalanche.
The Everyday Anxiety We Don’t Talk About
Anxiety is extremely common and is found in various forms. Most clients don’t walk into our office saying, “I have anxiety.” They say things like, “I can’t shut my brain off,” or “I feel like something bad is about to happen, but I don’t know what.” Anxiety is sneaky. It doesn’t always scream; sometimes it hums quietly in the background, like a refrigerator you didn’t notice until it stopped.
It shows up in the body—tight shoulders that make it hard to relax at dinner, upset stomachs that show up right before a big meeting, and insomnia that turns bedtime into a nightly battle with your own thoughts. It’s not just physical discomfort; it’s how anxiety quietly starts rewriting the script of your everyday life and relationships. It takes the form of overthinking text messages or rehearsing arguments in the shower. It’s exhausting, and yet somehow we still think, “I should just handle this better.”
But how can we handle it better? How can we stop the alarm from sounding in our mind over minor things like burnt toast? Many wonder the same thing. So, what helps when your five alarm warning system is sounding? I’m so glad you asked!
Here’s What Helped (Once I Stopped Googling My Symptoms)
While this list is not an all-inclusive approach to handling anxiety, it is certainly a start in the right direction. So close out that google tab and practice some of these basic anxiety strategies.
1. Label the Feeling (Yes, Out Loud)
This sounds small, but it’s huge. Saying, “This is anxiety” helps your brain shift out of survival mode. You’re no longer being chased by an invisible tiger—you’re naming a feeling. And feelings, unlike tigers, are survivable. Giving your feelings a label does not mean it is permanent or that it is in control, it is simply a way to stop chasing the tail and identify what is going on.
2. Check the Story You’re Telling Yourself
What is the story you are telling yourself that feeds the anxiety? CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) discuses taking the labeling to a deeper level and Identifying the cognitive distortion; some call it the “Bad News Broadcast.” Anxiety loves to feed us worst-case scenario reruns. It’s like watching the news and believing everything the weatherman is telling you about the monstrous storm headed your way that ends up being only a sprinkle. But anxiety drives you to race to the store and buy up all the bread and milk for the two hour raincloud. Anxiety can be helpful just like the smoke alarm, especially when crossing the street during rush hour, but it often makes a mountain out of a mole hill. Instead of allowing your mind to run away with anxious thoughts, try this: Ask yourself, “Is this thought helpful or just familiar?” Nine times out of ten, it’s just an old fear in a new outfit.
3. Move Your Body Like You Mean It
This one annoyed me for years because I wanted something deep, like an ancient breathing technique taught by monks. But no. While breathing techniques can help some, anxiety often needs an outlet and exercise can be a healthy way to get the nervous feeling out of your system. Sometimes the best thing you can do is dance like a weirdo to an 80s playlist or go walk a lap around the block.
4. Make a Tiny Plan
Anxiety thrives in ambiguity. Even a basic plan—”I’ll email my boss at 10 and take a break at noon”—can shrink the monster in your brain. The ambiguity of “what-if” is where anxiety grows. This is easily dealt with when we focus on the “what-about-now” and make a plan taking one step after another. Give your nervous system a breadcrumb trail to follow.
5. Be Kind to the Alarm System
Your brain isn’t broken; it’s trying to protect you. That fight-or-flight response? It was designed to help us survive lions, not inboxes. Sometimes I literally thank my anxiety for trying so hard. (Yes, I talk to my brain like it’s a well-meaning intern.) But just like a windows PC, sometimes the anxiety alarm system gets stuck and needs us to reboot it. Sometimes, we need to thank it for what it is trying to do, but allow ourselves to engage tools that tone down the alarm and reset the system.
One Thought to Tuck in Your Pocket
While these tips can help your anxiety, one of the most important things to remember is that: You are not your anxious thoughts. You are the one noticing them—like a lighthouse watching the waves crash below. The storm may feel wild, but you’re the steady beam, not the surge. That means you have options. You can slow down, ask questions, and choose a gentler response. Next time the smoke alarm goes off, maybe—just maybe—it really is just burnt toast and not the end of the world.
If anxiety has been running the show for too long, there is a way out! Our therapists can help. Schedule an appointment today and take the first step toward feeling more grounded, supported, and understood.
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