Facing disagreements and working through them as a couple can be a long and difficult process. Fortunately, one of the best ways you can help move through a disagreement, or even head one off before it happens, is to practice active listening. Using active listening can make all the difference in managing your conversations and relationships as a couple.

Active listening is about showing you are actively engaged in the conversation, even when you disagree. This means really paying attention to your partner, understanding and reflecting what they are saying both verbally and nonverbally, and expressing understanding in a nonjudgmental way.

Here are three helpful strategies to get started practicing active listening as a couple:

1. Listen with intention: When your partner is expressing their thoughts and feelings in a disagreement, it’s important to make sure you are really hearing, understanding and respecting what they’re saying. Pay attention to your body language and facial expressions, and make sure not to interrupt or anticipate what your partner is about to say.

2. Reflect and repeat: This can be a great tool to helping check the accuracy of your understanding, say something along the lines of, “I think I’m hearing you say…”. Also try mirroring your partner’s body language, when you reflect and repeat try to reflect back in a supportive and nonjudgmental way.

3. Communicate a shared understanding: Summarize what you have heard your partner say and ask them if it is an accurate summarization. This is a great way to help find common ground and move forward together. If it is inaccurate, allow your partner the opportunity to rephrase again until you both understand what they have communicated.

Practicing active listening can help couples navigate disagreements, but it can be difficult to do on your own. If you are having trouble communicating as a couple, reach out for help. At CounselRVA, we provide counseling services to help couples foster a safe and supportive environment in their relationships.

Active listening is one of the best tools you can use to help manage disagreements in your relationship with your partner. With a few helpful strategies such as listening with intention, reflecting and repeating, and communicating a shared understanding, you can create a safe and understanding environment when facing disagreements. If you need additional help, don’t hesitate to reach out to to one of our therapists by phone or by scheduling online.